Reviving the tache

Apparently sporting a moustache may improve your chances of landing a higher paying job, according to a study commissioned by financial services provider Quicken and the American Moustache Institute which admittedly represents people opting for facial hair…it admits to that? Ha ha
The study found that moustached Americans earned 8.2% more on average than those with beards and 4.3% more than the clean shaven.
The world is indeed a strange place… when I think of the most famous beardy/tache man about, Magnum did a pretty good job in keeping the flame burning, not to close to his face mind… Higgins was a pretty astute tache wearer too. Hitler, Chaplin, Many military personnel, Ghandi, Cowboys, and Dali have all worn a tache with distinction…

Here are some hints and tips and styles you may consider…er ladys can play to if you are able…although I would not be disapointed if you politely declined…
Fu Manchu – long, downward pointing ends, generally beyond the chin;
Handlebar – bushy, with small upward pointing ends. See baseball pitcher Rollie Fingers. Also known as a "spaghetti moustache", because of its stereotypical association with Italian men.
Horseshoe – Often confused with the Fu Manchu style, the horseshoe was possibly popularized by modern cowboys and consists of a full moustache with vertical extensions from the corners of the lips down to the jawline and resembling an upside-down horseshoe. Also known as biker moustache.
Pencil moustache – narrow, straight and thin like a pencil, closely clipped, outlining the upper lip, with a wide shaven gap between the nose and moustache. Also known as a Mouthbrow, worn by John Waters.
Chevron - thick and wide, usually covering the top of the upper lip. NASCAR driver Richard Petty wears a narrow Chevron.
Toothbrush – thick, but shaved except for about an inch (2.5 cm) in the center; associated with Adolf Hitler, Charlie Chaplin, Oliver Hardy, and Robert Mugabe. Also known as a sole stash or a Hitler stash.
Walrus – bushy, hanging down over the lips, often entirely covering the mouth.

Should you find that you wear a tache well, or have a natural talent for it, perhaps the World Beard and Moustache Championships is something you might want to enter..prizes include: the use of a Harley Davidson bike for one day.
Free membership to the Tom Selleck fan club
A porn video (not out on Disk) starring your favourite 70s actor
A mug with your most iconic tach wearer printed on and the word tachelicious underneath
And a free pass from Interpol to go through any major airport cause lets face it it, you probably look like a dodgy phucker.

It is advised that the goatie is not considered a beard, nor a tache, so avoid it at all costs…it looks silly...always, never an exception, unless you want to be ridiculed behind your back…like ginger people.