OK, it has been a while since my last post, er to myslf - as I said - the noises need words, nomatter who is listening.I was going to use the excuse…I was vsisitng the WC, but that cant be right…a whole week plus on the loo? That makes me sound oink sick oink?
Actually a week looking in the mirror assessing which direction my life is headed is plausible and I am not suggesting its headed down the toilet…quite the opposite, its alive with possibility…
It does make me think of some excuses that people use…
A friend once nearly pulled a fast one on his boss..”Sorry for being late, I had a puncture,” he said on arrival 2 hours late for work one-day in London.
His boss retorted… “I thought you took the tube in to work?”
Heard this one? Sorry i'm late but I was attacked by a flock of birds who mistook dandruff for breadcrumbs…Not sure if I would use that one if I was late to meet the parents of my soon to be (ex)-girlfriend.
I was attacked by ninjas?
My housemate is a big environmentalist…more the latter part of the word if you ask me, but and he recycled my homework! He speaks whale you know?
My sister ate my homework?
I like this one - Que? No hablo anglais?
Here are 10 real-life excuses for being late…All I can say is wow!
1. While rowing across the river to work, I got lost in the fog.
2. Someone stole all my daffodils.
3. I had to go audition for American Idol.
4. My ex-husband stole my car so I couldn't drive to work.
5. My route to work was shut down by a Presidential motorcade.
6. I have transient amnesia and couldn't remember my job.
7. I was indicted for securities fraud this morning.
8. The line was too long at Starbucks.
9. I was trying to get my gun back from the police.10. I didn't have money for gas because all of the pawn shops were closed.
Those are terrible?
How about – I got called up to play for the All Blacks this weekend as they are in short of a few good players? See you Monday?
Feel free to add you favourite excuse tags… Ok then
you're not posting to yourself, i swear. i read your blog now and again. and that's saying something because it's very wordy and clever and not about babies, so therefore not my usual blog fodder.
ReplyDeleteand talking of babies: best.work.excuse.EVER. it's like you get a free-pass to the kingdom of lazydom as soon as you give birth. it wasn't the desperate need to be a mother that made me have a kid - it was the idea of a legitimate year off while i was on maternity leave.
1. I won't be in today. I'm still drunk from last night.
ReplyDelete2. My car ran out of gas on the way to work. I was pushing it to a gas station and I got a stomach hernia and I have to go to the doctors.
3. Please excuse Johnny from school. He has very loose vowels.
4.Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
5.Please excuse me from this speeding ticket. My wife ran off with a state policeman and when I saw your flashing lights I didn't stop because I thought you might be the trooper who is trying to bring her back to me.
6.Sorry I can't go out with you, but me and my parents are taking the feathers off some chickens we bought.
-7.Excuse for skipping church: Real Mysterious Sounding "I just had this feeling I shouldn't be there."