Sleep incompatibility

So sleeping in separate rooms has become fashionable again!
And for one woman, it’s a case of changing one bed partner for another as she faces a lengthy jail term after stabbing and beating her husband because of his snoring.
The rude awakening, is taken to a whole new level in this case and our lady nutter can only hope that her in-mate isnt a 300 pound lesbian names Trixy! Top bunk anyone?

Research by the Sleep Council has found that half of us are regularly woken about six times a night by our partners, particularly if they snore or fidget. Oh well in that case, the snoring bastid deserved it!

It said that “sleep conflicts” often will result in relationship conflicts….Snoring, body heat, Cover tuggers, kicking, rolling, farting, bad moods, PMS, different taste in mattress texture are all valid excuses for men having to sleep in the pink themed spare room under the frilly duvet courteously provided by the mom-in law! Thanks er, I think.

Snoring is probably the main driver for this trend of couples sleeping apart. In some cases, it just plain and simply a health hazard to sleep together, just ask the little Filipino woman who is about 4'10" & 85 lbs, having been picked as an online mail order bride suitor for Eddy, the 450 lbs McDonalds loving porn surfing, sweaty yank!

Personally, there is nothing more comforting than falling asleep and waking up next to the one you love…until the biatch picks up a few kilos and starts to snore like a drunken trucker…LOL
Jokes aside though, spooning, fooling about whether late at night or first thing in the morning is a huge contributing factor towards a strong, healthy relationship!
It’s possibly the only time you can be intimate, alone and share secrets with each other, chat and generally bond. In fact its my favourite time with my partner, who sometimes sleep talks…which I find really cute, unless it involves me and the words 'effing prick' or some guy named Ryan and the words 'harder, faster, yes, yes, yes'.

Peace out - the sandman