Nostradamus se po&s

Monday, January 25, 2010 has been termed: ‘the most depressing day in history’, according to a UK psychologist – not Nosferatu or his blunt toothed cousin Nostradamus.So how did this genius, Luke Hirst, MD of debt experts Debtbusters, come up with this doomsday talk?

Well lets listen in shall we: ‘Last year this time we experienced the highest influx of consumers applying for Debt counselling ever recorded and this month even more are expected.’
‘It has been an extremely long time since most people have received their last pay-check. It is evident according to our increasing enquiries that the average South African consumer has been spending beyond their means’

The man has a partner in crime too, a Watson to his Sherlock if you like...UK psychologist Arnall, whose mathematical calculations show that depression hits us this coming Monday said: “Following the initial thrill of New Year's celebrations and changing over a new leaf, reality starts to sink in. The realization coincides with the dark clouds rolling in and the obligation to pay off Christmas credit card bills.”

Oh thank Goodness, Ganesh, Karbala or Einstein…add you favourite deity here…these chaps have some proof…an equation, an actual equation.

Wanna see?

The model is: [W + (D-d)] x TQ M x NA

The equation is broken down into seven variables: (W) weather, (D) debt, (d) monthly salary, (T) time since Christmas, (Q) time since failed quit attempt, (M) low motivational levels and (NA) the need to take action.

And here I thought the worst day in history would be to find out that you were adopted, lost your job, dumped by your girlfriend, got hit by a bus and..again think of something worse than the weather...unless you are in England at the moment...sorry about that!

So a typical formula might look like so...

The model is: [Why + was x I even born} P x shoot me now

So when do they reckon is the best day of the year?

The model is: [L + (No-B)] x GS Isl x HG + LFC + SHK

(L) stands for winning the Lotto
No-B - Finding out that your one night stand is not pregnant
GS – Owning just under majority shares of Google, enough not to have to be involved in the Group's daily business.
Isl – Finding out that your long lost (what does that mean anyway?) great great grand pappie passed on to you an Island in the Caribbean that he owned.
HG – Finding out that your new hot girlfriend, Lauren has a twin sister and they are inseparable, doing everything together, everything!
LFC – Liverpool football club winning the Champions League, FA Cup and Premiership title all on the same day, let alone the same year, with the SHK – Sharks winning the Super 14 and Currie Cup.