Thursday, May 28, 2009

Plonk and cheap hookers


Men who drink up to half a glass of wine a day may live five years longer than non-drinkers, said Colin Collard, chairman of direct wine marketer, Wine-of-the-Month Club.
Now here is a man who sings to the right tune, a man I would share my braai tongs with, hand him a spare key to my house, hell even share my lady companion with, whoa ok, maybe I am getting carried away.
Yes yes, it would be logical for a wine marketer to say drink more wine, but here is the genius of the man…
Collard, was referring to research published by the Journal of Epidemiology and
Community Health, which found that men who consumed light quantities of any type of alcohol daily gained two and a half years of life expectancy, with a lower risk of dying from coronary heart disease and other ailments associated with poor circulation.
"There is a lot of research pointing to the fact that a glass or two of wine a day is good for a person's health, and this research just adds to this standpoint," said Collard.
You tell them Colin, Col me old chum.
The man has scientific research to back up his claims. So using his method of calculation, the more I drink the younger I will get? No that’s not right, I just won’t age anymore? Well I made a good start watching the champions league final last night, so here is to everlasting life!
Does this study apply to woman? I wondered. Sexist man that Colin is, he makes no mention of whether his elixir to eternal life applies to the female species?
Oh well nevermind, pass the tongs my good man. Chin Chin and all that.

The study, conducted at the University of Wageningen in the Netherlands, studied the lifestyle and alcohol consumption of 1 373 men born between 1900 and 1920 whose health had been examined regularly between 1960 and 2000.
During this period, according to the research, 1 130 of the men died, more than half from heart disease - and the researchers compared the men's deaths to drinking habits.
"Interestingly," reported Collard, "men who drank only wine - up to about a half a bottle a day - lived around two and a half years longer than those who drank beer or spirits. Compared to teetotalers, they lived five years longer.
It's just nice to know that enjoying a glass or two of your favourite tipple can actually have a benefit," Collard said…
Ha ha that is absolutely priceless, I love you Colin, but why are you wearing my slippers?

Headline on Bloomberg television today: “The price of prostitution falls in Latvia today.” I am not kidding. Who would have thought, it’s not a cheap hooker, but a cheaper hooker?

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