A friend asked me recently, after my first day at a new company, if I had learnt the names of at least five people and if I knew where the toilets were?
Well it is was a no to the first part, but yes, much to my disdain, to the second part.
You see, having your desk in a position that is convenient for your web surfing habits is pretty much first prize when you start work in a new environment. Unfortunately, I didn’t even get onto the podium when it came to desk positioning - safe to say, I am the equivalent of the Force India team in Formula One - last on the grid, and lucky to finish the race.
I am the only person in the entire open plan office who has his screen facing the door, to which I have my back. On the plus side, it means that I can work harder for my boss ha ha, f&ck off, but on the downside, well that needs no further explanation.
Yes, super happy, friendly, smiley colleagues are important, and I am fortunate those people who work around me are really nice however, more importantly for me, second prize if you like, is a nice ablution.
There is nothing worse than messy toilets, with untrained toilet users at your place of work, think Trainspotting and the infamous ‘Worst toilet in Scotland’ if you aren’t on the same page yet. Annoying people you can just ignore, but a shitty toilet, well you have to wipe it up, or wait till home time.
The toilet seats in my place of work are wonky and don’t fit on the bowl nicely, which means that the bowl is often, well smeared with last nights Korma, from that obese middle aged person who you never see in the office, but always hear on the toilet. The person whose only exercise comes when he suddenly needs to run to the toilet to shake off last nights TV dinner, the person who has their top button undone and their tie half way down their shirt because their neck is too fat, the person who sweats even in winter because their diet consists of three different types of take-away every day, the person who comes back late from lunch because they just couldn’t finish eating in time, the person who makes indescribable sounds with their arse and then breathes a heavy sigh of relief when the job is done, that person, and that’s just the ladies bathroom haha.
Anyway hats off to the cleaning lady, because thanks to her mid morning routine, the bathrooms are generally spotless by the time I have a need to enter, long after big Al has made his rounds.
On the flip side, I really like it when public establishments take pride in decking out their water closets. – Notice how that sounds so much more sanitary already. I have seen some amazing WC’s in my time and perhaps none better than The Mayfair bar and a few others in that area in London.On a local front, a club in Fourways that I recently visited had a really funky set up. Walking into the gents, one immediately noticed that when standing over the urinals you get to look into a fantastic fish tank, filled with beautiful fish and those things that are generally found in the ocean, and on the other side, is the ladies bathroom. Sorry for those guys who get stage fright then, and also those vein guys who spend hours in front of the mirror doing their hair – the ladies are privy to all of that unnatural behaviour, and visa versa. Its all very amusing to see how people behave out side of their comfort zones, especially after a few tequilas - so well done to the owner.
Well it is was a no to the first part, but yes, much to my disdain, to the second part.
You see, having your desk in a position that is convenient for your web surfing habits is pretty much first prize when you start work in a new environment. Unfortunately, I didn’t even get onto the podium when it came to desk positioning - safe to say, I am the equivalent of the Force India team in Formula One - last on the grid, and lucky to finish the race.
I am the only person in the entire open plan office who has his screen facing the door, to which I have my back. On the plus side, it means that I can work harder for my boss ha ha, f&ck off, but on the downside, well that needs no further explanation.
Yes, super happy, friendly, smiley colleagues are important, and I am fortunate those people who work around me are really nice however, more importantly for me, second prize if you like, is a nice ablution.
There is nothing worse than messy toilets, with untrained toilet users at your place of work, think Trainspotting and the infamous ‘Worst toilet in Scotland’ if you aren’t on the same page yet. Annoying people you can just ignore, but a shitty toilet, well you have to wipe it up, or wait till home time.
The toilet seats in my place of work are wonky and don’t fit on the bowl nicely, which means that the bowl is often, well smeared with last nights Korma, from that obese middle aged person who you never see in the office, but always hear on the toilet. The person whose only exercise comes when he suddenly needs to run to the toilet to shake off last nights TV dinner, the person who has their top button undone and their tie half way down their shirt because their neck is too fat, the person who sweats even in winter because their diet consists of three different types of take-away every day, the person who comes back late from lunch because they just couldn’t finish eating in time, the person who makes indescribable sounds with their arse and then breathes a heavy sigh of relief when the job is done, that person, and that’s just the ladies bathroom haha.
Anyway hats off to the cleaning lady, because thanks to her mid morning routine, the bathrooms are generally spotless by the time I have a need to enter, long after big Al has made his rounds.
On the flip side, I really like it when public establishments take pride in decking out their water closets. – Notice how that sounds so much more sanitary already. I have seen some amazing WC’s in my time and perhaps none better than The Mayfair bar and a few others in that area in London.On a local front, a club in Fourways that I recently visited had a really funky set up. Walking into the gents, one immediately noticed that when standing over the urinals you get to look into a fantastic fish tank, filled with beautiful fish and those things that are generally found in the ocean, and on the other side, is the ladies bathroom. Sorry for those guys who get stage fright then, and also those vein guys who spend hours in front of the mirror doing their hair – the ladies are privy to all of that unnatural behaviour, and visa versa. Its all very amusing to see how people behave out side of their comfort zones, especially after a few tequilas - so well done to the owner.
Joke of the Day: I was walking in a cemetery this morning and seen a bloke hidingbehind a gravestone. I said "morning."He replied, "No, just having a sh!t."
Looking into the ladies you might be surprised what you could learn!
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