I watched an episode of Mr Bean recently – yes slapstick, cringe worthy entertainment of the highest order…and like the marmite love it or hate it phenomenon you either want to strangle the guy for the satisfaction of seeing those bulging eyes of his, well pop out of his oval shaped head, or you like him so much, like my grandfather did, that your false teeth fall onto the floor amid a coughing fit as you struggle to breath and saliva gets caught travelling down the wrong passage…general chaos ensues.
Beanmans afore mentioned episode sees the goofy looking fellow packing for a well deserved holiday…What exactly does Mr Bean do for a job anyway?
Basically he realises that he has a small suitcase and therefore makes various packing adjustments to ensure that the bare necessities aren’t left behind…he snaps a tooth brush in half squeezes out half the toothpaste - that sort of malarkey…he also cuts his chinos at the knees to turn them into knickerbockers before he realises that lying underneath he already owns a pair…yes mind the false teeth folks…
Anyways stupidity on that level you would think very difficult to find in the real world.
You would be WRONG!
I stumbled upon a list of holiday complaints – real- and cringe worthy, like Mr Bean in Church….or Borat and his fat hairy Russian friend wrestling nude and then running into the convention sentre in the hotel they are staying at! Or any Borat scene for that matter…stick a needle in my eye I cannot watch that stuff!
I decide to create a nutter rating out of 10 – being nuttier than Black Cat peanut butter!
Mr Bean 7
Borat 8
Britney Spears 6
Elton John 7
Hitler 10
Julius Malema 6
No1 on the list was a woman, who briefly after checking in, returned to the reception desk clutching a travel brochure. She pointed out that the bedspread in her room did not match the one in the brochure.
The receptionist pointed out that the hotel had recently been refurbished with all new accessories, however the woman was not satisfied until an old matching bedspread was found to replace the one in her room….nutter rating 6
2) A man took the time to write in and complain that no one had informed him that there were fish in the sea, and his children had been caught unaware and were now extremely frightened.
Nutter rating 6
3) A man on a safari honeymoon complained that the lodge overlooked a watering hole where elephants could often be spotted.
Apparently not, after one of the elephants became aroused, the man was left feeling inadequate for the rest of his holiday, ruining his honeymoon.
Nutter rating..Elton John me thinks 7
4) One couple sent a formal complaint to the airline stating that it was unacceptable that it took them nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England and it only took the Americans three hours to get home.
Nutter rating Mr Bean 7
5) A young woman left an unhappy comment upon leaving a beach resort claiming that all topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. Apparently her holiday was a complete waste because her husband spent all day looking at other women
Nutter rating 5
7) Staff at a well-known hotel thought it was odd that a woman never left her room, but they didn't interfere. Eventually the woman emerged and stormed to reception shouting that she was going to call the police - the irresponsible staff had locked her in her room and ruined her whole holiday! In reality, she had simply mistaken the "Do not disturb" sign for a warning to stay in the room.
Nutter rating 8
8) One couple were horrified to be placed in a double-bedroom instead of the twin-bedroom that they had booked. They now hold the hotel directly responsible for the fact that the woman is pregnant. Apparently it would never have happened if they had been put in the room that they had booked.
Nutter rating 6
