The windows of the soul

I am in my early thirties, white and South African. I moved back to South Africa in December, following eight good years living in the United Kingdom. Since my return, I have struggled to get past the utter contempt shown by indigenous people towards minorities in this country.
Everyday I get a look of utter hatred from a complete stranger, everyday! The hatred in their eyes hurts like hell, but it soon becomes a 'bugger you jack' as my natural defensive nature kicks in.
I am hated for being white? No! That can't be right, surely? It has been too long since the end of Apartheid for that. It’s the ANC who have been running the show here now for many years, enough to break that terrible legacy? The ANC has been in power for long enough to make the changes that were needed and mould the country into their shape…that’s a whole new essay in itself.
I get that look of contempt from all ages, old and young – from teenagers even, younger than the system of apartheid, so one cannot even look to lay the blame it its doorstep …why then? Is it a genetic thing? Is this hatred still being passed down from generation to generation-through tales atrocities during the 60-80s?
If that is the case, it makes me think that Nelson Mandela is truly a man to be celebrated for his forgiveness and his progressive mindset.
I am tired of having to apologise for the colour of my skin, for working damn hard to be where I am and for driving a car, or owning a house, wearing a designer label…contributing to the economy. It's my given right as a South African, as an African. I am just as much an African as those who stare me down…and I try hard everyday to be proud of this broken country.
However, it is so far from being healed its frightening and its nolonger about apartheid (the sooner people get that chip off their shoulder the sooner we can all move on).
I do not profess to ignore our history as it was a despicable thing, but when I see a young girl with daggers in her eyes look at me, a complete stranger for no reason, it makes me think that it has to be something else.
I am open to answers and I would be the first to put into place that solution, but I am past feeling guilty…we all created this mess, so lets all work together to sort it out.
Dare I say that reverse racism is rife here in this country, but as a minority it’s a case of so what - deal with it.
The calling of obscenities by taxi drivers on white drivers, when they push in and get an annoyed hoot, or a frustrated flash of light to make them aware of their inconsiderate and dangerous driving is only one small encounter of many on a daily basis. Hell I only need walk down.
I cant wait for the World Cup in 2010 as it is going to be a brilliant event, but if people think that it is going to solve all the countries issues, they are sadly mistaken – its in the eyes.
Viva? whatever...